weekend recovery

This was a pretty big weekend for Irwin and me. We told our parents and some of my extended family that we are having a baby! I, unfortunately, didn’t get a video of anyone finding out, but everyone was really excited and it was super special. Even my brother was home from college for spring break, so he got to partake in the news sharing too (even though he already knew).

We also found out this weekend that our embryos were in the tank that malfunctioned and may have possibly lost our remaining 7 embabies. This was a really hard pill for both of us to swallow, but we also just put our hands on my belly and prayed so hard and so fervently for our little miracle. Had one thing gone differently in the whole process, we could’ve lost all our embryos and had to start over {something that I don’t even want to think about currently}. We have been praying so hard since finding out our embryo took and we are going to continue to pray for our little bean. He/she is our miracle baby, and we are praying for both the health and safety of our baby, and for us as parents that we do a good job and raise them to be a man or woman of God.

So this weekend was full of high points and low points and ended this morning with my second beta. We are praying for good results so we can schedule our ultrasound and our first prenatal appointment with our ob. It honestly still feels so surreal to me that we are pregnant, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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Monday again…

Weekends have been flying lately and I’m not about it at all. I want need more time to sleep and get housework done. It doesn’t help that our weekends have been relatively busy as of late.

Friday night Irwin and I went to Babies r Us to scope things out. We found some bedding and a pack and play that we love. It was really nice being in the store and dreaming about our future little one. I think we’re going to head back there in May to create our registry for Baby C.

Saturday was pretty relaxed during the day. I took a nap, and once I got up we got ready and headed to the grocery store and later went to the church for a couples night. They did one of those paint and wine things without the wine and we painted the Cleveland skyline. Much to my surprise, Irwin is a decent painter and our canvas didn’t turn out half bad.

On Sunday I was up before the sun thanks to a full bladder and the two dogs in our house. I made myself some breakfast {read: poured a bowl of cereal} and watched some fixer upper before taking a morning nap. Then it was time to go to church. Our pastor and his wife were back from their missions trip and it was so nice to see them again! We also loved hearing about their trip and are excited to see what God has in store for our church, the city of Cleveland, and the whole state of Ohio. I took another nap when we got home {growing a baby is clearly exhausting work} and we got ready for the week with some meal prepping and life group.

This week should be pretty low key, but Irwin is going out of town for a couple of days to attend a safety conference. It’s the first time I will be alone in our house overnight and I’m equal parts nervous and excited. We will obviously miss Irwin like crazy, but I think the dogs and I are looking forward to sprawling out on the whole bed and he will be home on Thursday night, so it’s not like he’ll be gone for a super long time. Then Saturday we are finally going to announce to our parents that we are having a baby! I am waiting on a call from the doctors now for my first beta levels, but it is so surreal to me that we have a child growing inside me. It’s our little miracle and we couldn’t be more excited.

monday

Womp womp.

It’s Monday again. I think we can all agree that weekends need to be longer.

Can I be honest with you all for a second? I am bored, like just in general, with my life. I feel very stagnant in a lot of what I do every day, and I cannot decide if it’s because I am actually bored, or if the greyness of February is just getting to me and I need some sunshine in my life. Even yesterday as we were sitting in our church service I was thinking about how I needed to get out and do something or I was going to lose my mind. Funnily enough, I think God heard my thoughts during service because before I even took off my coat when I got home, my dad called and ended up having an extra ticket to the home and garden show, so I got to have a little daddy-daughter date yesterday. I know I have a calling for hospitality, and lately, I’ve been wanting to do more with that but I’m not entirely sure what that means. I used to do planning on the side, but my day job has sort of taken over my life and doesn’t really make that possible anymore. I’ve thought about getting more into the design side of events as well, which is where my passion truly lies. I like pretty things – can you blame me?

In other news, I am about a week into taking estrace and yesterday I could actually feel my brain telling my mouth to reign it in because of how mean I was being and it was completely unintentional, just hormones apparently. I actually cannot imagine what I am going to be like in a few weeks when I have this, the progesterone, and God willing pregnancy hormones coursing through my veins. I am just going to apologize in advance for anything I may say during that time and hopefully, it won’t be as bad as I am anticipating. After all, if that is truly the case at least I’ll have our little one hanging out in my uterus and we will be closer to bringing him or her home. I have my lining check on Friday and then we will be able to confirm and schedule the transfer date. I am tentatively scheduled for next Friday, but we will see what this week brings.

 

 

four week wait

Back in 2016, I joined this group of ladies called the four week wait-ers. It actually started earlier in the year as the “two week wait” but crept up to four weeks. Anyone who has ever struggled with infertility will totally get this – it’s not the two weeks after ovulation that is the longest, each cycle is long in totality. You wait for your period to end, wait for ovulation, wait for two weeks and a positive {which usually ends up being a negative anyways}, and if that test is negative you’re waiting for your period again so you can do it all over again. Hurry up and wait. This could honestly be my life motto for these last two years.

For those just joining – yesterday began my frozen transfer cycle! The doctor has me on estrace tablets from now until eternity, or my 11th week of pregnancy – whichever comes sooner. I have my lining check scheduled for a week from Friday, and they will call later today with a tentative date for my transfer. Sometime between the lining check and transfer, we will be starting the progesterone in oil shots. For some reason {not at all relating to my obsessive internet research, I’m sure} these freaked me out. I have heard they hurt, and not just when injected, but for awhile afterward too. Over the last few days, I’ve been feeling better about these though. I’m sure it will still hurt, but I can do it. We can all do anything with Christ’s strength, and honestly, if it gets our little babies here, I’m willing to suck it up. It’s just like 56 more injections. I can handle that.

In other news:

  • I am on day two of no coffee for like the third time in 2018 {why do I do this to myself} and I feel like I’m dying. Of course, we stayed up to watch This is Us last night too, so I’m feeling extra Monday-ee today.
  • Work is going to be slow this week, outside of Saturday, which is my busiest one in probably a year.
  • I also kind of can’t believe it’s already the 5th of February. This month might as well already be over.
  • I’m taking myself on a “me” date this weekend to see Fifty Shades Freed. I am well aware these movies are not everyone’s cup of tea, but I like them, so let me live my life and sneak Mitchell’s ice cream into the theater.

Happy Four Week Wait!