the longest tww there ever was

Dear Baby C,

Welcome to the tww {two week wait}. I know we shouldn’t be expecting anything from this cycle, but I am full of expectation for what is coming after these next two weeks! It feels like yesterday that we were sitting in our dining room going over deciding to move forward with ivf and here we are, just two weeks away from starting this process. The following is a little overview on how all of this will work:

3 days after my cycle starts, I will go in for my first ultrasound and round of bloodwork, called baseline testing. From there they will tell me just how much medication I will need to inject that evening and the evening prior.

Two days after that (and every other day for the next 8 days or so) I will be going to the doctors early in the morning for more ultrasounds and bloodwork. Your dad will be injecting two different medications into my belly each night during this time. After about a week and a half, the doctor will determine if we are ready for the retrieval. Once she gives us the go-ahead, dad will inject the trigger shot and 36 hours after that I will be in surgery to have all of the developed eggs removed. That evening we will start the dreaded Progesterone in Oil shots.

Once the eggs are fertilized, we should get a phone call about how many embabies we have growing in the lab! If all continues to go well, 5 days after my surgery, we will go in and have one of the blastocysts transferred back into my uterus.

Then we wait…

 

This is a very dumbed down version of exactly what is going to be happening and overtaking our lives for the next month or so, but I won’t overwhelm you.

In other news, I have my first acupuncture treatment scheduled for next Friday morning. I’ve read and heard from just about everyone that it helps and I am ready to try just about anything at this point to get you here. If you didn’t know me, you’d never know I was absolutely terrified of needles…

We love you baby C,

Mom & Dad

 

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full of hope

Dear Baby C,

I write this to you on the eve of the new year, the year we are praying we get to bring you home.

This year has been full of so many ups and downs for me and your dad and lately, I have been nothing but a negative nancy just because I’ve been reminiscing. Even something as simple as an overcrowded restaurant is enough to set me off these days. Lord, I pray for my husband and hope he has patience with me over the following months.

But, we are mere hours away from the new year. 365 days full of hope. 365 chances to wake up on the right side of the bed. 365 to smile and laugh, instead of frown and seethe. And, believe it or not, we are only a couple weeks out from starting ivf. Your dad and I don’t hide it anymore, and everyone always asks if we are nervous and how we are feeling. Honestly, I am so ready to have you here that I am nothing but excited for this next adventure. It will be a long road, and I’m sure full of ups and downs, but if it gets you to us safely, I will be okay.

In addition to (hopefully) bringing you into the world, we have a few other fun things up our sleeves for 2018:

• We are going to be installing a fence at our home so your furry brothers have a place to run around outside. Someday I’ll write a post on how amazing these boys are.
• A trip to Colorado.
• Our 4 (!!) year anniversary.
• Floor seats to the Taylor Swift concert (which may be your first concert! In utero, that is)

As the clock ticks down to the new year, I am leaving behind all my negative thoughts.

I am going to work on not letting little things get to me.

I am going to work on being healthier for the future of our family.

I am going to focus on spending more time in the present and not scrolling through my social media feeds.

I am going to work on praying more, and worrying way less.

After all, God’s got this.

3… 2… 1…

 

 

the week after christmas

Dear Baby C,

It is without fail that every year during this time, I lose track of what day it is, and even the time. As I’m sitting at my work desk I am wondering how it is only 1:30 and I have to be here for five more hours, even though it feels like I’ve been here for 8 hours already.

Christmas was so fun this year, your dad and I hosted everyone in our home. Your grandparents, aunts, and uncle on both sides were over in the morning and all of my extended family came over that evening for dinner. Everyone is so excited to meet you when you finally arrive! It’s so weird to think that next year you may be here to celebrate your first Christmas with us.

After everyone left the house felt quiet, and for the first time ever, empty. Even though your fur siblings and dad were there with me, it was like the silence was deafening for the first time ever. It was one of those moments that let me know we are doing the right thing by moving forward with this so quickly.

Within the next week we will be starting a brand new year, and if I’m being honest with you, I am really looking forward to it. I know God has our back through all of this, and I truly believe 2018 is going to be the year we get to bring you home. It’s so crazy we only have about 2 and a half weeks until all of this starts. There is so much on the line, but we know it is going to be so worth it to get to hold you in our arms.

We love you Baby C,

Mom & Dad

a few days of good luck

Dear Baby C,

Yesterday your dad and I got a very exciting phone call. We were approved for a 25% discount on the medications the doctor has prescribed to me. I will be on seven different medications plus my prenatals and thyroid medication.

I cannot believe we are 25 days away from starting this process.

Most days I feel really good about it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any doubts occasionally sneak in. I’ve been praying for you for almost two years now, but I’ve been praying especially hard for you recently and if I’m being honest, for my strength as well. This whole process involves lots of needles, which is quite possibly one of my biggest fears, and I am going to need lots of strength to get through it.

The doctor has me on an antagonist protocol, due to my risk of hyperstimulation.

I will be taking daily injections of Follistim and Pregnyl to help produce lots of eggs and keep them growing at the same rate. After a few monitoring appointments, they’ll add in the Ganirelix, which will prevent the eggs from releasing prematurely. Once they deem all the eggs are ready, they will schedule my retrieval and I’ll take the trigger.

They have me on some other oral medications and prescribed me an estrogen patch to wear, to make my uterine lining thick (this whole process is so, so sexy) so I can have a sticky baby! They have also prescribed me the dreaded PiO injections, which is an intramuscular injection given daily right in the behind. As much as I loathe needles, I’m hoping I need a bunch of these because that would mean I am pregnant with you!

Say lots of prayers for your dad, who has been a trooper through all of this, because I feel like all these hormones are going to make me a little hard to handle.

We love you Baby C,

Mom & Dad

 

six hundred and twenty seven

Dear Baby C,

It’s been 627 days since your dad and I started on this journey.

We’ve prayed countless prayers, cried thousands of tears, and I’ve peed on a few too many sticks {all of which have been negative}.

But now we are a mere 26 days away from the journey we hope will bring you from heaven into our arms.

You see, Baby C, when your dad and I first got married, I knew I wanted children, but I didn’t want them at that point in my life. I wanted to advance my career, get set up financially, travel, among a laundry list of other things. Some of those things we have accomplished, some of what I thought we would have later in life came sooner than expected. The desire for you was one of those.

It’s now been just shy of two years. We’ve found an amazing doctor who is going to help us get you here and I know God has his hand in this as well and is setting us up for success. If you only knew how many people were praying for you and your safe arrival. Baby C, you are already so incredibly loved. This next step in our journey is going to be rough, but we already know you are so worth it and with God on our side, I know we can get through it.

We love you so much,

Mom & Dad