send caffiene

I am so, so sleepy today guys. And it’s March 1st. Where is time going?

The dogs have decided they need to be right on top of me at all times and because of that, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I also think I was still feeling the excitement from the positive test I got yesterday too. Today is the first day in about four weeks where I have wanted coffee, but I know if I have any a couple things will happen:

  1. I will be upset with myself because I’ve been really good so far and don’t want to mess up our chances at having a healthy baby.
  2. I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

So I want caffeine but shouldn’t have caffeine. My friends that know just keep telling me to get used to being tired, which I guess I probably should heed that warning because it’s good advice.

In other news, I’m basically appalled it’s only Thursday and we are supposed to get snow overnight, so I’m definitely contemplating working from home tomorrow. My boss is heading to sunnier climates tonight and everyone else in my office is off, so if I come in I’ll be alone. Maybe I’ll just make tomorrow a shorter than normal day {while in the office at least. I work the whole time I’m awake regardless of where I’m at usually}. After work tomorrow through Irwin and I are going on a date to get pizza, which let’s be real, is the best kind of date. We plan to tell our pastor, his wife, and one of our very good friends the news of our pregnancy this weekend and we are very excited!

What are everyone else’s plans for the weekend?


two little lines

So full disclosure, I have some family members and friends who know I am writing a blog, but nobody {not even Irwin} has the link so this remains pretty private.

I got to go in to work late today as I have some evening appointments happening so I had some time to kill this morning. I woke up, made my meal plan and grocery list for next week, and watched the news. However, I could not shake the desire to test. The downside was I didn’t have any tests available to me. So I made a trip to Target because I needed some more prenatals and hair ties and picked up two boxes of pregnancy tests. I knew today’s would be negative, but at least I could scratch the itch and then have ample tests for next week.

WELL, much to my surprise, those two beautiful pink lines I have been longing for over the last two years showed up after about a minute. I could hardly believe it. I have a little bean growing inside me! I called Irwin right away to tell him the news and then sat down and was like “now what”. I’ve waited so long for this moment that I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I kept going back over to the test to make sure the lines were still there – they were. It just feels like we are in a dream and I’m waiting for someone to wake me up.


…and the Lord has given me my petition which I have asked of Him

I am going to keep testing through the weekend and then go for a beta on Monday most likely. I have one scheduled for next Friday, but if I’m getting positive tests I’ll just go a bit sooner.


Now we just have to wait. The Lord has given us our miracle and I am praying so hard for our healthy little bean to be carried for 9 months. Our estimated due date is 11/11 which is a fun date too. Thank you all for your prayers. God is on our side and I know he totally heard each and every one of our prayers and the prayers of everyone else. Our little one is so loved already.


four week wait

Back in 2016, I joined this group of ladies called the four week wait-ers. It actually started earlier in the year as the “two week wait” but crept up to four weeks. Anyone who has ever struggled with infertility will totally get this – it’s not the two weeks after ovulation that is the longest, each cycle is long in totality. You wait for your period to end, wait for ovulation, wait for two weeks and a positive {which usually ends up being a negative anyways}, and if that test is negative you’re waiting for your period again so you can do it all over again. Hurry up and wait. This could honestly be my life motto for these last two years.

For those just joining – yesterday began my frozen transfer cycle! The doctor has me on estrace tablets from now until eternity, or my 11th week of pregnancy – whichever comes sooner. I have my lining check scheduled for a week from Friday, and they will call later today with a tentative date for my transfer. Sometime between the lining check and transfer, we will be starting the progesterone in oil shots. For some reason {not at all relating to my obsessive internet research, I’m sure} these freaked me out. I have heard they hurt, and not just when injected, but for awhile afterward too. Over the last few days, I’ve been feeling better about these though. I’m sure it will still hurt, but I can do it. We can all do anything with Christ’s strength, and honestly, if it gets our little babies here, I’m willing to suck it up. It’s just like 56 more injections. I can handle that.

In other news:

  • I am on day two of no coffee for like the third time in 2018 {why do I do this to myself} and I feel like I’m dying. Of course, we stayed up to watch This is Us last night too, so I’m feeling extra Monday-ee today.
  • Work is going to be slow this week, outside of Saturday, which is my busiest one in probably a year.
  • I also kind of can’t believe it’s already the 5th of February. This month might as well already be over.
  • I’m taking myself on a “me” date this weekend to see Fifty Shades Freed. I am well aware these movies are not everyone’s cup of tea, but I like them, so let me live my life and sneak Mitchell’s ice cream into the theater.

Happy Four Week Wait!